i think one of my biggest regrets is like ditching therapy bc like i didnt know how much i would need it later on during middle school i was just like nahhh man im fine so i got out of it and then freshman year came and then progressively through high school ive just become more of an emotional trainwreck who fails to find a meaning or worth in life and its getting to the point where im not even sad anymore im just frustrated and tired and i want to destroy everything
i want to watch the world and everyone in it burn i hate it i hate myself i hate everything i want to go down with this ship life disgusts me
my whole existence is patronized by others, people treat me like a child, my own parents have stopped caring about any emotions i have because they seem to assume its just bc of the anime i watch or smth, that i have no real problems in my life and i’m completely fine and its just my silly little fictional universes
hell for the past week i havent been able to tell whats real and whats not i walk into school and convince myself its a dream, convince myself we’ll all wake up one day and wonder what happened, and what happened to that oh so ‘beautiful’ civilization we built in our 'reality’
maybe its just because i’ve given up
i don’t know